Suzanne Portnoy

I know that most people believe I spend my life doing nothing but thinking about sex, having sex or writing about it…if only.  Mostly I’m doing the job thing, the cooking and tidying and shouting at two boys thing.  And for the past month I’ve been doing the revision thing, trying to help my youngest pass his entrance examinations.  This is not easy as I don’t speak French, am rubbish at maths and hate science.  Nevertheless, when the opportunity comes along to have fun, I’m the first in the queue. This being my first kids’ free weekend in 30 days, fun was very much on my mind.

After a debaucherous evening last night with the new guy that ended at about 6am this morning when I finally passed out, I got on a train at 11.30am to meet the fabulous Strawberry Seductress for an erotic photo shoot.  I didn’t really know what to expect.  I’ve had photographers take pictures of me naked before but that had always been as a prelude to having sex.  This time it was just about the pictures.  I had Marilyn Monroe in my head.  I wanted to convey the natural sexiness of Marilyn in my pictures - part cheeky, part sexy and very natural.

I arrived at Petra’s beautiful flat by the sea and I settled into her huge bath scented with salts and rose petals whilst she got the lights and room ready.  Then I curled my hair and whilst it was still in curlers she took lots of cheeky semi-clothed photos of me putting on my make-up and getting my hair ready.  It was all very relaxing, lots of fun and playful.  She has a beautiful bedroom with a romantic four poster bed covered with scarlet satin sheets and lots of props and clothes and jewellery to choose from.  Then we did some lingerie shots and a few naked pictures with me covered in rose petals.  All the while I wore my brand new and to die for Kurt Gieger 5″ high heel black patent shoes with an ankle strap, the sexiest shoes I own.   Three hours later she was still snapping away until she had filled up her memory card and had to get another one.  Four hundred images later, we were finished and I was exhausted but excited.  She showed me a few of the images in the camera and she seemed to get the tone just right.  There were some really great shots and I’m not sure yet what I’ll be doing with them although I’m thinking maybe of having a little private member’s gallery here or just keeping them for my own portfolio.  It’s wonderful to have pictures that capture a special moment in time.

Then it was back on the train and two hours later I was home again, sitting at my kitchen table eating the hottest chicken tikka kebab I have ever tasted.  Now, barely able to keep my eyes open, all I can think about is crawling into my super king size bed and passing out.  I’d forgotten how tiring having fun can be.