Suzanne Portnoy

Knowing from my hit-o-meter that I have lots of new fans and knowing that new fans like to see new material otherwise they will disappear and find another sex blogger (probably on my own blogroll) that will satiate their hunger, I give you the best sex I’ve ever had. My friend Angelika over at Naive London Girl calls this the BFE or Best Fuck Ever. I thought she meant Boy Friend Experience, like GFE means Girl Friend Experience - a term commonly used on Punternet.com to describe a prostitute who gives her punter a more intimate experience than the usual fuck-n-go. That’s how cynical I am. As if boys could pretend to be boyfriends instead of just fuck buddies. Mind you, I had a lover once who did a pretty good job of pretending to be a boyfriend but freaked out when I suggested I might want to be his girlfriend. ‘I hate it when girls try and fit themselves into boxes that don’t even exist,’ he said. He’s not around anymore.

I also had a lover who said to me, not so very long ago, after a not particularly satisfying sex session (for either of us) that he was more of a lover than a fucker. I thought that was a particularly original get-out clause. Whereas I think that as much as I love intimacy, there is nothing quite so satisfying as being royally fucked by someone who really understands the meaning of stamina.

My lover Greg is one of these guys. Looking at Greg, you wouldn’t think that he was an expert at shagging. I’ve never asked Greg how many women he has shagged but I would not be surprised if it was in the high thousands. You don’t get as good as he is by not practising… alot. He’s in his early fifties, white, with very short hair and wirey media-type specs. Medium build, medium height. Attractive but not stand-out. His cock, 8 1/2 inches, thick, with a large mushroom head, is just about perfect. Greg and I have been hanging out for a few years now and the sex has actually improved with age. Perhaps that’s because we don’t see each other very often. Recently, our relationship has taken on a whole new level of intimacy with the introduction of his friend Tony.

Tony is black, early thirties, stocky build with a cock as thick as a Coke can and about 6 1/2 ” long. He is a lovely guy, horny as hell and the combo of the two of them is mind blowing. Really, having sex with two horny guys that are as horny for me as I am for them, is a life changing experience. I don’t know why more women don’t try it.

The other weekend the boys came around for a little session and didn’t leave for five hours. That was unusual in itself because usually I can’t last that long and my libido starts waning and all I want to do is go to sleep. But this particular weekend was different. It felt as if we were all in the same head space, all really up for making it last. Not that we just shagged the entire time. No, being somewhat pros at this, we paced ourselves. I can’t have sex with a guy whom I can’t talk to and that evening we chattered away for an hour or so, listened to Angelika’s podcast, laughed, drank and ate in between all the fucking. At one point we all orgasmed at the same time and that took us all by surprise.

‘So, what makes it so great?’ I can hear you all asking.

First and foremost, it’s the feeling of being completely filled. Really, I can’t even put into words how great that feels. It feels as if there are twice as many endorphins kicking around my body. Then, because I always like to be on top, there’s extra clitoral stimulation as I’m rubbing against whichever guy in on the bottom. Then there’s the horny factor. I feel doubly desirable. And we all fit. It just works, ok?

At the end of the evening, I kissed the guys on the doorstep. ‘Wow,’ said Tony looking completely blissed out. ‘Yeh, Suze,’ said Greg. ‘That was quite a sess. Get some sleep.’

Mmmmn. Roll on threesome Friday…