Suzanne Portnoy

You are right Suzanne but it takes a great deal of courage to admit to yourself as a woman that you want more. And then to admit it to society is even scarier. Remember most women are still too scared to tell their partners they are not happy with the sex they’re getting. (And men too). Look at how the newspapers react to an unconventional relationship - Tilda Swinton is just one example. It seems that there is a fear that if too many people dissent from the accepted norm, society will fall apart. And so your behaviour is threatening.

There are many issues here but I will agree that sexual fidelity is a myth. And not just among old, jaded marrieds. I have met so many men who are in the early or mid thirties looking for affairs. And yet tonight they are playing a game at a dinner party with their partner with other couples, that everything is ok. I met three such men last week. All living a lie. They made me cross.

And finally, I think too many people put a premium on sex that it doesn’t deserve. It is what it is. It doesn’t mean anymore than it means at the time. Fun, crap, wild, gentle, warm, rough. Whatever. It’s a release and a damn good one when you’re not good at climbing mountains or sailing yachts around the world.

Thanks for your thoughts. And you’re right - most women (and men) are too scared to communicate about their sexual desires, what gives them pleasure, what feels good and not so good. I was one of those women so I should know. I was lucky enough to meet someone who asked the questions, taught me a few new tricks and made me realise how much fun sex could be. I often wonder if I hadn’t met that guy whether I’d have become just another sexless women living in denial.

Vanessa Feltz? You let HER get under your skin? *shudders*

If I was you, I’d be worried that I worry about what she thinks of me.

I smell jealousy…ignore her, Suzanne, she’s a has-been.

‘Averse’, not ‘adverse’ - trust me. Like you care.

Suzanne, this post sums up why I think you’re absolutely one of the coolest people I had had in my life to date.

I personally, am not like you. Yet I have a deep admiration and respect for you, and consider you one of the very best sort of people to have in your life. In anyone’s life.

While some of your escapades have raised internal eyebrows, it’s something I have never once thought mattered when it came to who you were as a person. Just our personal tastes and preferences are different.

What I love about you is your lack of self-deception, and your complete acceptance of yourself and sexuality. As a younger woman, it made an impression on me.

While I don’t think I will ever reach anywhere near your level of sexual abandon (and I say that with love and respect), knowing you helped reinforce and change some of my own perspectives of sex, love and monogamy.

I understood, then and now, that you made a choice to live your life this way, and you’re not in the least irresponsible, crazy or selfish. In fact, I think if anything, you are responsible, sane and unselfish. I know that based on my very personal experience with you in my corner.

At any rate, I mean this not as flattery my dear, but as a big up, and nuff respect. This post, just reminded me why I love ya.

Be blessed Suze…

ndelamiko

Dela,
You’ve made me blush. Thanks for the support. I really appreciate it.

It’s my opinion that people only attack others in this way when they are insecure/have their own “issues.”
Would that people could just live their own lives without these kind of comments.
I do dispute one of the comments above, that “sexual fidelity is a myth.” That kind of attitude is just as narrow-minded as dear Vanessa’s. I’ve been married a LONG time and still enjoy incredible, inventive and just plain fun sex. It’s definitely good communication that has helped.
Each to their own, I say!

Emma
You’re very lucky… but rare. I would say that a lot of couples pretend to be faithful but aren’t. But you’re right, it can be achieved if that’s what both people want, especially with good communication. That’s the key. Thanks for writing and reading.

Emma - I’m with you on that one. I would never want to cheat on my current boyfriend (alhough I have cheated on exes in the past). I think people who cheat are missing something (I know I was) but I’m not missing it anymore - I have everything I want. Sorry if this comment is a wee bit soppy.

Wow - Happy to see I have so many loved up readers!

Suzanne, you have said it all in one post! Superb!! x

On monogamy -

I have always had difficulty with the ‘one person can meet and fulfill all my needs and desires’ school of thought.

But then I guess that depends on your needs and desires.

We are all different (thank the heavens). There is no one size fits all and who is Vanessa Feltz to judge anyway.

UKEscortGirl

Here here UKEscortgIRL

Suze I didn’t think you were the blushing type! LOL!!!