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2008
Suzanne Portnoy Life Coach
There are many times when I have thought that should I ever want to give up being a publicist I could become a life coach or the type of person that other people go to when they don’t know what they should be doing. Take the other night. I was out with my girlfriend Carol at a world music club in the West End. The band came on and within a few minutes Carol was whooping and hollering and throwing her hands up in the air. There were a couple of businessmen who looked over at her as if she might be insane and a few women sniggered too but then I realised that what she was doing was revving up the crowd. By the end of the night lots of people were whooping and hollering and dancing too. This is Carol’s usual behaviour when we go out.
‘You should be an audience motivator,’ I said. ‘Promoters would hire you to get the show started and make sure that the audience had a good time.’
She laughed. ‘I could do that.’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘And you’d get paid depending on the size of the gig. So if it was a small gig, you could stand in the crowd and if it were a stadium gig you could have a mic and be on stage.’
‘You know,’ she said. ‘That might really work.’
‘Just think,’ I said. ‘You would be the only audience motivator in the U.K. and after a while you could start your own agency of people that like to whoop and holler at gigs. You could hire actors and people like that.’
We both laughed but actually I didn’t think the idea seemed so far fetched. Last night I went to see a flamenco based musical and the guy sitting next to me, a Spanish dancer, was whooping and hollering during the musical numbers. During the last number the audience was on its feet clapping along to the songs. He was an audience motivator too.
I create imaginery jobs for my friends all the time. Carol’s favourite saying is, ‘I want to find a man to inspire me.’ On reflection, I’ve done quite a bit of inspiring but rarely have I been inspired by anyone. That’s not bragging, it’s just a fact. Maybe I’m a bit too scarily confident to attract the kind of people who like to inspire others or maybe it’s just that when I want to do something, I just do it.
Just recently my new lover started blogging after I suggested he might enjoy it. I told him what to do and now he’s writing an entry a day. Actually, it’s rather good. The last time he came over I gave him a book about screenwriting and now he seems to be into the idea of making a film about his life after I suggested that it had all the components of an award winning movie. Frankly, it’s such a great story I wouldn’t be surprised if one day it gets optioned for a few million quid and he ends up living in Hollywood in a big house with a big pool. He’d look good with a tan.
Last night I did a bit of a mental checklist of men I have inspired and those that have inspired me. On the Inspired Them side I counted about 10 and on the Inspired Me side I counted 2, my New York ex and a friend I’ve known for a decade and whom was indirectly responsible for some recent changes I’ve made to my work. About the same score then as the number of men whom have told me I give world class blowjobs and the number of men who have given me world class cunnilingus. Are you seeing a pattern here?
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Middle-aged single mother and entertainment publicist Suzanne Portnoy leads a double life. Monday to Friday, she’s a professional executive devoted to her two adolescent boys. But at weekends she spends her kid-free hours having sex, with a different man each time. Or multiple men. More »
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Good Reads
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage
Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage
Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex
Daddy’s Girl
Going to hit the sack and read a bit of Snobs. Really enjoying it. Read an article about picking up employment via Twitter. May try it. 15 hrs ago
Comments
hmmm, actually this is probably the most self-serving UNINSPIRING article I ever read..do you really feel you have reached the pinnacle of your life experiences with such competence that alas, there is no one left who can inspire you to the same degree that you inspire others? Fascinating…as for your so-called world class sex act, I wish I had a dime for every time I heard that one..
Enjoy your day!
Having experienced my fair share of terrible blow jobs I certainly would never say that there is no skill required in giving a blow job, but when it comes to oral sex I think men are both more easily impressed (for alot of men just the fact they are getting a blow job is amazing) and also have a slightly more difficult job. Plus I think alot of me still see it as something that has to be done and not something they want to do and if you don’t enjoy your work it always shows.
Scottish people don’t tan, they turn lobster red for a couple of days then quickly fade back to being a very blue shade of white
Well, Sonny, not every post is a winner and this one obviously struck a chord with you. Sorry, just what was on my mind today. Feeling decidely uninspired and maybe a little pissed off. That’s just the way it goes.
As for the oral sex thing, I think it’s a combination of enthusiasm and experience. I give good blow jobs (apparently) because I like sucking cock. Not all women do. Conversely, I’ve met a few men that take to licking pussy with great enthusiasm and they are better lovers simply because they obviously enjoy what they are doing and as a result, I can relax. Not being a chick that comes in a nanosecond, I don’t like feeling pressured to come. As for inspiration, mostly I find it through reading and self-examination rather than from other people. I don’t think I’m that unusual in that respect.
Fair enough Suzanne, but I didn’t say the post wasn’t a winner, I just don’t agree with the premise. Commenting on your getting your inspiration through reading, well I’m sure what you are reading were written by people, correct? Being inspired by people doesn’t always necessitate it being a person to person experience. I’ve been inspired by many people who I’ll probably never meet through their literary works.
As for sex? Well, whatever the act, when you enjoy what you’re doing and care enough about pleasing your partner, you’ll be an expert in any technique in short order! If I can be allowed to sway from the topic just for a second, trying to ‘force’ an orgasm will prove just as futile as trying to ‘force’ yourself to go to sleep; its more like just ‘letting’ it happen. If anyone is interested, I’ll relay a suggestion that may help people who feel they have a hard time with this..
ciao for now!
Yes, of course, writers are people. I guess I wasn’t making myself clear. I was saying that in my intimate relationships often I feel that I’m the one doing all the inspiring and it would be nice if it were the other way around from time to time.
As for the orgasm bit, I used to be an ‘orgasm chaser.’ I could make it happen, and quick enough, if I disconnected from the actual experience and went into a favourite fantasy. It’s not uncommon. In fact I read an article yesterday that said about 80% of women and 95% of all men fantasise during sex about other people and situations. But ultimately, it didn’t feel very honest. Then I stopped worrying about making it happen, and, rather predictably, I came when I was ready to come. So much nicer too!
Gotcha! Yes I can agree with that thought; at least 50% of the time I think it would be nice to receive as much inspiration as you perceive giving! I have found some of the most inspirational people are passionate, driven people. Passionate about anything! You can always apply their passion to situations in your own life. I’ve found that the common denominator in all successful people is PASSION..an unwavering determination in achieving their goals.
Orgasms: When I talk to men or women and we discuss orgasms and the acquisition of them, I always tell them the same thing…forget about them! Paradoxically, when you just enjoy the sensations your partner is (hopefully) giving you and you just RELAX and enjoy the moment, orgasms are all but guaranteed. When you forget about your destination and just enjoy the trip, you’ll reach your destination every time! And yes, they will be much more intense..
How did we combine orgasms and inspiration so successfully? lol..
Talk to you soon!