Suzanne Portnoy

You cannot compare yourself with Kim, no one ask her why she likes sex because she does not look her age, ad she is very attractive, it’s different when a woman that does look nearly 50, does not have an amazing body and goes around the internet trying to find a man is having sex.

That is just plainly rediculous. Firstly, one shouldn’t ask any woman of any age whey she likes sex. That’s just a dumb question. Secondly, Kim is an older woman. Whether or not she looks her age is immaterial. She’s out there. She’s having fun. How she finds her fun is irrelevant. God, Rick, I do wonder sometimes if you’re just not just a big party pooper with a sense of humour failure. I don’t think you’ve ever left me one comment that hasn’t been derogatory.

Ive just been reading a piece on Kim Cattrall what with all the hooha about the new SATC movie. She is actually 51 now and, as she says, she’s gonna look good on the screen whatever she looks like in real life cos it’s in the best interests of the producers to make it so.
Normal women of a similar age are going to find it hard to compete with her in terms of her celluloid/tv appearance.
But what she says is that ‘the older I get, the more self-knowledge I have, which makes me feel even more sexy. Attitudes to age are still a huge issue in our world. And that’s why I am so happy to be of a certain age. We changed the way people thought about 40 - maybe we’ll do the same for 50 and even 60′.

As you get older, it’s not necessarily about how you look but how you feel about yourself. And if you feel attractive, you will exude that confidence. Ipso facto, if you’re having lots of great sex, you feel gorgeous and confident and that’s how people will perceive you - no matter what age you are.

I just find it astounding that there are still people out there who think that, once a woman hits 40, she shouldnt be having sex, let alone enjoying it.

Quite frankly, on behalf of the more mature woman everywhere, Id like to punch Rick for that very ungallant comment.

Suzanne let rick have his comment. Has rick seen whwt you look like and if not he shouldn’t be slagging you off. I haven’t seen any pictures of you without a mask or something hiding your face. The partly shown pictures make you look eye candy to me, so don’t see his problem.

Blushes. Thank, Ian. I don’t think I’m looking too bad for an old broad. x

The character ‘Samantha’ that the actress Kim Cattrell plays in Sex & the City, is a fiction, the actress herself does not act in that way at all. Cattrrell’s book about ’sex’ is actually about sexual honesty, love and fidelity, she has paraphrased it’s message as: “be lucky enough to find your true love, and then be absolutely honest.”
Cattrell says a lot of her unhappiness in sex came from the fact that most of the men she had been with thought of her characters, not of the real her. She calls it ”the Rita Hayworth Syndrome.”
”As an actress, I know that most of the roles I play are nothing like me. But men always think I am like that character.”
Asked in an 2003 interview about her ’sex’ book if she is, “not even a smidge, like Samantha?”
”Nope,” she said, and shut her mouth into a straight line. ”And that’s why I wanted to write a book about what had so long eluded me in a relationship. Sex alone wasn’t fulfilling for me.”
Food for thought…

Thanks for clarifying. Although I think it’s a bit weird that she should say that it’s only when you find your true love, you should be absolutely honest. Surely one should be absolutely honest all the time, not just in a love relationship. Sounds to me like she’s deliberately trying to distance herself as far away from her character as possible which is a shame as I quite liked Samantha.

Cattrell’s book is heavily pro honesty in ALL situations, not just love relationships. I don’t think she is trying to ‘distance’ herself, she is an actress who has played a lifetime of roles, yet always gets associated with just that one ‘Samantha’ persona. In real life she isn’t like that particular character and is rather sick of people trying to hold her up as some kind of ’symbol’ or ‘example’. Surely the real woman (Kim Cattrell) is entitled to her own sexual preferences (monogamy, fidelity, one-on-one), just as much as anyone else?

Absolutely. She’s allowed to be whoever she wants to be.

So wait Rick, only attractive people are supposed to have sex? And the older you get, the more likely you are to be less attractive? As far as I know we are all humans, all of us built with sex drives and an intense attraction for various sexes. I don’t see how that should dwindle as you get older–unless you get boggled down.

I’m only 24, but I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older and gained more experience, my appreciation and love for sex has gone up exponentially. The more confidence I have, the more I find it enjoyable. I imagine (and hope) that will continue as I age.

god and i thought i got flak when i went home to malaysia this year, me, boring ol simple me with a pretty straight sex life but obviously not straight enough for the narrow minded hypocritical south east asians who thought i was out to steal their husbands or corrupt their daughters or drink their booze cupboard dry. and why did they think that simply because my husband left me. hah i’d like them to have met you, but no, on second thought i wouldn’t inflict them on you.

i was in Vietnam a few year’s ago. The locals had obviously never met a single mother and the most common question I got asked was, ‘Where’s your husband?’

‘I don’t have a husband,’ I would reply.

‘Ha ha ha,’ they would say.

‘No,’ I would reply. ‘It’s true. I’m divorced but I’m friends with him.’

‘Ha ha ha,’ they would say. ‘You’re very funny.’

In 3 weeks of being there I don’t think I had a single conversation that went any differently. As for the other tourists, mainly honeymooning couples and older, married couples, I was persona non gratis. I don’t think I had a single conversation with anyone that lasted more than 3 minutes. It was a very strange but wonderful experience.

Not only attractive can have sex…it’s pretty obvious that unattractive have sex too, and it’s not about age. One comparing oneself with Kim was my point. As it has been pointed out, Samantha was a character . Even in that case the character did not go in websites looking for men, she was an attractive woman that went to the trendiest places in New York and turned heads.

There you go again, Rick. Pretending that you really know me when you don’t.

this post is hilarious.
‘do you think you are soulless?’ — so polish; as is,
unfortunately, the misunderstanding [nicest way of putting it…] about jews.

the ans to the question would be, i guess,
‘do you think you are bodyless?’

The reason the character Samantha didn’t do websites is because it wasn’t as easy to when that character was created.
If they re-write her now she most certainly would be.
If anyone reads your book they will also find you don’t live your sex life through internet sites but also frequent trendy bars and galleries similar to the Samantha character. I do wish people wouldn’t be ignorant when wishing to comment about those whom they choose to target………

Ian,
Thank you for saying it and not me. You know, I didn’t want to look like a snob but it is fairly self-evident from reading my books that I’m not a frumpy housefrau sitting at home trawling the internet for victims! Although I don’t base my life on Samantha, the comparisons are obvious.

Suzanne,

Just to say, I love you and your attitude!
You and I exist under (reasonably) different circumstances. I am 28 and married and very happy with that. But I think we share the attitude that we can have great sex and it can make us feel wonderful for whatever reason(s) we choose. It always strikes me that the people who interview you (on the whole, I don’t like to make generalizations) are seeking to find some deep and meaningful reason why you have sex. Sex is fantastic. And that’s the main reason to have it!

Vive la difference!
Vive Suzanne!

Thanks, Emma. Sex it is fantastic and it’s free. Even better.
X

I think the interviews you give reveal just how uncomfortable we are publicly with sex. It’s something EVERYONE does, but it’s almost taboo to talk about it in a public and personal forum–not online. I don’t know why. So someone who does both–talks about sex and has wonderful sex with multiple wonderful partners, for many people, is broaching some unwritten rule.

It’s all a bunch of hogwash to me. But I’ve noticed that when I discuss things openly with my friends even they get uncomfortable and I get the response, “I think you’re a little sex obsessed.”

I dunno, I’m pretty sure Kim Cattrell constantly gets asked by journos if she sleeps with many different people like her character on sex and the city. I suppose that is different to being asked why you like to have sex, but probably just as much of a pain in the arse.

I think that if I have to answer the same questions over and over again when any decent journalist would have just read over my clippings, then I will scream.

Well, without prejudice and not willing to sound horrible, I think the whole thing is about what people what to see…picture. People do not want to see a old woman having sex. I for one do not want to watch a porno movie with a old woman in it.
I do like sex and I do have it…in plenty. I am 41 and I am blessed (yes blessed) that I look nearly 10 years younger.
I go out in the bars and club and I meet good looking men.
I have seen Kim Cantrall in person, and she does look great…but if she …sorry …Samantha looked like a ordinary 48 years old woman, she would not really what she was in the show. Miranda for exemple was younger…but ugly (yes ugly and boring), the others had some sex appeal.
Without wanting to offend anyone, I for one, do not want to see, hear, or read about old women (or men) having sex….we want to see, hear or read about young and good looking people ….