Blogroll
- Adele Haze
- AlwaysArousedGirl
- Barbed Wire Boudoir
- Bren Ryder
- Cherry Bomb
- Darkside Journey
- Debauchette
- Dirty Details
- Dontwakethekids
- Easily Aroused
- Elexus Exposed
- Erotic Awards
- Erotischism
- Gently Gently
- J Daters Anonymous
- Kinky Stick Figures
- Marilyn Jaye Lewis
- Mister Fitznicely
- Obsession Art
- Practical Polyamory
- Radical Vixen
- Rated Rupert
- Reprobate in Disguise
- Shay Sex Column
- Sissy Maid Stephanie
- Solomons Refuge
- Susie Bright
- Talk to Vanessa
- Tara Tainton
- The Frisky
- The Mistress Lounge
- Tiny Nibbles
- UK Escort Girl
- Wank Log
Friends
- Audacia Ray
- Blondie White Pants
- Bookseller to the Stars
- Cliterati
- Dirtyspoke
- Elegant Smut
- Happy Hedonist
- Having My Cake
- JamYe Waxman
- Lucy Felthouse
- Lust Bites
- Mark Farley
- Mon Mouth
- Naive London Girl
- One Life, Take Two
- Petra Joy
- Polyamorously Perverse
- Rachel Kramer Bussel
- Sex in the City (Selina Fire)
- Sexagenarian & the City
- Shoes Only Travel
- Smut & Steff
- Tania Glyde
- Urban Gypsy
- Viviane’s Sex Carnival
- Woman of Experience
2008
Sex Toy Queen
Back in the day when Times Square was seedy and run-down and not, like now, an appropriation of Disneyland without the Flintstone sized turkey drumsticks, I had a boyfriend. He was probably the last boyfriend I had that challenged me enough to make me rethink my entire life. I like men like that. Men that want to take the time to get underneath the war paint and try to figure me out. This boyfriend didn’t want to change me. He just revealed to me aspects of myself that had been hidden from the rest of the world for years. He allowed me to be myself. I owe a lot to him. For the purposes of this blog and for anyone who has read my books, he was called ‘Frank.’
Frank didn’t get much chance to relax, being a stressed-out lawyer type but, when he did, he liked to browse the XXX stores around 42nd Street looking at sex toys. Every once in a while, he would buy one until he had amassed quite a collection of the stuff.
I used to go to New York to visit Frank every few months. We had a ritual. I’d book a hotel room, Frank would come over with a bag full of sex toys, dump them on the bed and we’d spend the rest of the weekend trying them out. Some of the stuff was, frankly, rediculous.
‘You’ve got to be kidding!’ I remember saying, when I pulled out an 18″ thick, glow-in-the-dark dildo. ‘I can’t use that.’ Frank had a very vivid imagination.
Before Frank, I hadn’t even owned a vibrator, couldn’t have told you the difference between a bullet or a rabbit, silicon vs. water based lube. After 18 months with Frank, I could have run a sex toy shop and so that was what I did, albeit a virtual one that stocked all my favourite products. It didn’t last long (too much competition in the marketplace) but I did end up with quite a lot of excess stock and samples. Now I have a couple of drawers full of the stuff, from double ended dildos to bullet vibes, a really gorgeous handmade leopard print strap-on, and various anal beads, butt plugs and who-knows-what-else. Word got around the media that I was a sexpert on sex toys and I got invited on TV to talk about them. They called me ‘The Sex Toy Queen.’
These days I have my favourite vibes, my favourite anal beads, a couple of things that get pulled out by various lovers when they want to experiment with my pussy and other holes. I don’t add to the collection as regularly as I used to do, being somewhat fussy about what I’ll stick up my fanny. The fact is that there’s a lot of crap out there - toys made using crappy rubber, petroleum based rubbish. There are too many toys that use far too many batteries that need to be changed far too frequently and stuff that just fundamentally doesn’t work.
I’m not one to plug products for the sake of plugging products but today I visited the Passion Show at Earls Court, where I ran into some very old friends who run a company called ‘Rocks Off.’ For a couple of blokes, these guys show a commitment to producing safe, sexy and environmentally products that really is applaudable. I’ve known them for five years, ever since they sat in my front room with a sample of their very first Rock Chick product, raving about the medical grade silicon and the tooling and all sorts of stuff I really couldn’t have given a shit about at the time. All I wanted to know is if it worked and so they gave me one to try out and I told them it really could have used a bullet vibe in it and a year later they produced one and now it’s one of their best selling products.
Then they produced a product for the boys that does really well and now they’ve launched some new vibes, one of which they gave me today to try out. They call it The Lick for obvious reason and it’s made out of a new material that took them a year to develop and is completely biodegradable, recyclable and all that stuff. It has a lovely feel to it and that bullet vibe inside is nice and strong and not too buzzy and it’s waterproof. It could just become my new favourite vibe which is really saying something as I’ve been best friends with my Fun Factory Layaspot for a couple of years now. The Lick is only £19.99 which seems incredibly good value to me and seriously, I couldn’t imagine the money going to nicer guys.
They’ve also just brought out the Ramsey Rabbit. Yes, well, em. I think someone was drunk when they thought that name up, don’t you?
Filed under: Sex & Stuff • 15 Comments • Read More »
Leave a Reply
Latest Release
Middle-aged single mother and entertainment publicist Suzanne Portnoy leads a double life. Monday to Friday, she’s a professional executive devoted to her two adolescent boys. But at weekends she spends her kid-free hours having sex, with a different man each time. Or multiple men. More »
Buy my books
Amazon United States
Amazon UK
Amazon Germany
Good Reads
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth About Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage
Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage
Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex
Daddy’s Girl
Going to hit the sack and read a bit of Snobs. Really enjoying it. Read an article about picking up employment via Twitter. May try it. 8 hrs ago
Comments
Bought the rock chick and my partner loved it. Her latest toy that blew her away is the rabbit wave. Those sex in the city girls have changed the mentality of how we look upon the sex toys we now buy. Obviously i dont know when frank took you to purchase your toys but was it before the SITC series. We bought toys for years but they tended to be penis looking vibrators but now the market choice has expanded enormously. thankfully….
Passion was a good show, me and my partner bought some nice things. Interesting I thought you were going to write about the party on Saturday. We had lots of fun, it’s good and lots of good looking people, though I have to say that the men were better than then women for a change.
Valerie: I really liked Passion too. It had a good choice of stands and the atmosphere was really nice and friendly. I ended up meeting up with lots of old friends and stayed for 4 hours. As for Saturday night, it was OK. I had fun with my partner but it was more like a nightclub with sex than a proper swinging party. I’m not one for standing around chatting for hours and only stayed until 1am. I should have bought a towel and gotten in the jacuzzi. It looked lovely. I left my partner there and he stayed on until 4am and had lots of fun.
Ian: It was almost 8 years ago now. The market has changed enormously since then. You should buy your partner The Lick. It really is a nice, small vibe - great for travelling!
Now days there are toys for everything and for both genders, I for one like high quality toys, in the old days they were from poor quality, indeed it has changed enormously and for better.
What is a proper swinging party? We met some good looking couples and played with 3 couples, for us it’s a proper one. I thought it was slow at the beginning but it got quite wild after 1am.
I think we chatted with the guy you went with, I did not like him though (something he said), plus we were looking for couples not a single guy.
Too few beds for too many people. Too many voyeurs and not enough people playing. I’m used to going to clubs and parties where there is very little drink/drug taking and lots of action. For me, I don’t want to wait 2 hours for people to get sufficiently drunk and then have a big audience. The clubs are a completely different scene where everyone goes to get involved. The clientele may not be as attractive but that’s why I always take a blindfold! Ultimately, I like places with single guys as I’m greedy and love 3/4-somes! Anyway, different strokes for different folks. I’m glad you had fun.
I believe Im one of the few women who just didnt get on with the Rock Chick. Im too small. If the bullet bit was in the right place, the crucial penetrative part was miles away from any hole. For me it was a waste of money
People have different tastes for sure. I like to talk to someone and get to know the person first. You should have stayed a bit longer because there was a lot of action (at least you could have got some material to write something about it), but it did take a while to start and indeed a lot of people were watching for a while, but they got into the action, I did not see or spoke anyone drunk and I stayed till 4am too. I like to see who is fucking me, the blindfold does not work for me, I like attractive people.
Valerie: Yes, I’m the opposite. I don’t like to talk at all. In fact, when I go to swinging clubs, everyone knows not to talk to me. I like complete anonymity when it’s a group situation. When I’m at my home with a few guys than I have to like them but at a party or club, the less I know, the better. That way I can keep the fantasy in my head. Dark rooms are my favourite!
Having my Cake: Never tried the Rock Chick with a vibe but I only really like clitoral stimulation. Rabbits just seem overly complicated.
There was an article in a popular, 20-somethings magazine recently asking for volunteers to try out sex toys. What do you reckon? Should me and my partner go for it?
Sure, why not? It would be lots of fun and I can’t see that it would impact on your career.
I hated Rabbits as well… I gave up after Id broken the third one
LOL
Rock chick is my absolute fav toy…… Rabbits are ok, but not as good. Must try The LIck!
Suzanne - depends how good they are or whether I can take them to the office.
True. I’m such a creature of habit. I tend to use the same toys over and over again and just replace them when they wear out. Over the years I’ve been sent stuff that has just lanquished at the bottom of my drawer, unused. One was an iPod vibe that vibrates to my music. As I’ve never had sex whilst wearing my iPod I couldn’t see the point of it. I often wonder who thinks these things up. At Passion there was a similar product that attached to a mobile phone.