Suzanne Portnoy

I think that you were barred because it’s a “dating” site not a sit looking for sex. All the major dating sites will do the same I am quite sure. Yes, trying to find a date is what the site is about and of course that people there will end up having sex, but they don’t want to have the site associated with finding people for sex.
I find incredible that you did not figure it out. Of course a lot of men will respond to an add when you are so explicit, even in a date site there are a lot of men there looking to find women to take to bed, would they become something more than one night stand? I doubt.
I think we go to different sites to find different things, if you go to a swinging site you will find the swing, if you go to a date site you should stick to the dating (at least initially).
It seems to me that you are so deep in this “let me fuck as many men as possible” that you forgot that there are other things that can be very rewarding!

We know you go on these websites for sex partners or go to swinging clubs but have you not considered this site as a way of meeting men and women and to use it as your very own dating site. Or are you not allowed to because of some rules i’m not aware of.
We can’t all be at these holiday resorts that you have naturist sex. I also think you should reconsider your female rule…..
Any dvd available of your weekend antics….

Well, I didn’t say I was looking for sex on the dating site. I just mentioned I had had sex! To be honest, I’m not really in the space to be looking for anything serious at the moment. I’ve started a new business and I’m getting a fantastic buzz out of it, so much so that any thoughts about men and relationships have pretty much gone out the window. There’s a time and a place for everything. I’m sure when the time is right someone special will come into my life but it’s just not on my list of priorities. Like I said in my blog, I just sign up every now and again for a bit of validation and fun. There’s no real serious intent behind it. I just like to see who is out there. It’s all research.

The thing is that I was told by a guy on the swinging scene about girlsgofree so I just thought it was a casual dating site. I guess I was wrong!

Ian, I’m not against meeting my readers but sometimes it’s nice to meet someone that doesn’t know my history. It’s not easy to make conversation when someone already has heard all my good stories.

Maybe but there must be plenty you could talk about, but the description of men you ask for, doesn’t make me consider its conversation you would be wanting. Have you dated and slept with someone you met off this site then.
What are the type businesses that you run

Isn’t the validation need a sign that you feel there is something missing? All these different casual partners can be fun, I for one have had my fair share, but I am a woman and I wanted something else, something that meant …
If I lost my boyfriend I would for sure have lots of fun and sex with all men I fancied, but I would still deep inside be looking for something more.

Valerie, how do you define a date? In the dictionary a date is defined as: “a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person”: to go out on a date on Saturday night.
It says nothing about “dating” for a relationship. If Suzanne wants to go out for a dinner and then have sex does that not constitute a date? After splitting with my husband, I plan on “dating” and believe you me….I will want sex!

Ian: No, I’ve never dated or slept with anyone I’ve met off my blog. I run a creative, integrated agency.
Valerie: It’s just fun every once in a while to have a look around. I’m of the opinion that you can’t look for the perfect partner. When the time is right it will happen. I’m in no doubt that one day I’ll meet someone special. I suppose I’m quite rare in that I’ve known many of my partners for years and so although we’re not together in the traditional way there’s still an element of caring about and for the other person.

Suzanne, I agree with you, when it’s the right time it will happen. You can always go to the dating sites and try to find fun as well, nothing wrong with that, but writing in on the site will get you kicked out, as it has been proved.
Jen, I am not the one that has defined “date”, society has.
When I was single I went in LOTS of dates, and I slept with all the ones that I felt like. Going out for dinner and have sex is a date for me indeed, I think you misunderstood my posting. I was talking what is expected in the “dating sites”, what we do when we meet some from a dating site is our problem….
When you free to go on dates, go, and do have sex…it’s always good for the skin! I always said that there’s nothing wrong in having fun with Mr. wrong while Mr. RIght does not show up.

Yes, Val, you’re absolutely right. As we all know, most folks go on dating sites hoping to eventually have sex but if you write that in your profile, forget it! Personally, I think it’s hypocritical because ultimately your life partner is going to be someone with whom you are sexually compatible. That has to be right at the top of the list in any real relationship. So, to deny that people go on dating sites without sex in mind is silly. Instead they focus on food you like or activities or whatnot, a lot of stuff that doesn’t make a blind bit of difference to me. I’ve met all my live-in boyfriends in the real world and not the virtual one. Without exception they were all guys I might not have picked off a website but they were men that made me laugh and whom I liked. I think there’s definitely room in the market for an intelligent dating site that doesn’t ask its members to fill in a million crazy questions. Nerve.com was probably the closest one for me in terms of acknowledging that sexy people can also be intelligent. Sadly it doesn’t have enough members in the U.K.

I think meeting people on your own site might be more of a fantasy to the reader than it is for you. One reason we read it, is of course for the fantasy. You tell us amazing stories that get us turned on and then we etc etc etc…who wouldn’t want to fuck the woman who gets us turned on? Being an older woman who knows what she wants, I’d love to fuck you, but blogging isn’t even handed. We’re not engaged in an isolated one on one conversation….

I don’t really know what I’m saying actually.

I really have a problem with people my age trying to map out the next ten years of their life. “I’m working up the ladder at my job now. When I get promoted in two years and I’m going to find a nice man and marry him when I’m 26. We’ll spend a year of alone time together and then I’ll have my first child at 28.” Ugh, whose life works out like that? I say this, because these very same go on dates with the goal of meeting their life partner. That’s a lot of pressure for a date.

Suzanne, it’s extremelly hypocritical, but unfortunately that is the way society is. In the end we all want sex, every single one in any dating site is looking for the same thing, someone they can fall in love and someone that they are attracted to.
The old saying that a woman has to be a lady in society and a whore in bed, is the one that still works better I think.
A dating site that we could put our sexual preferences as much as what kind of movies, food, holidays we like would be perfect, the down fall would be, it would attract a lot of cads that would join just to get their legs over.
Chris, I personally would not want to meet my readers (maybe with few exceptions), it would spoil the fantasy, remember in a one to one situation things can change a lot. A friend of mine once introduced me to a guy in New York, we exchanged pictures, emails for 2 months, he was nice, single, rich, attractive, everything one would hope for, on the paper. When I met him the chemistry as ZERO. He was still a nice guy, a total gentleman, but in person it did not work.

I think we all saw from your recent experiences with the guy who messed you about (Scottish guy?) that you are, at heart, looking for a partner.

George: Sure, ultimately, isn’t everyone? I’m not a complete freak, you know! Often though I get involved with someone I realise is completely inappropriate (like Mr. Scotland) and then, thankfully, back off really quickly. Over the years I’ve learned to trust my instincts more and get out before it all goes bad. Like all women too, my hormones fluctuate to the extent where sometimes I feel quite needy and other times I couldn’t really give a f*** about men and relationships. Other factors are how happy I am with my work, my friends, my family. When that is all going well, relationships don’t seem such a priority. A few years ago I had a tantric teacher who told me to try being single for a few years. I think she recognised in me a pattern of falling into relationships just for the sake of being in one. Having done that, I can confidently say that I’m happily single. There’s an old saying that you can’t love anyone else until you love yourself and I now can see there’s a lot of truth to that.

As for dating sites, Valerie, nerve.com is one of the few that manages to crossover both sex and dating. Years ago I met quite a few men off the site (when it was free), many of whom I’m still very close to. But, you’re right. You just can’t know whether you’ve got chemistry with a man until you meet them face-to-face. The guys that look great on paper are inevitably not that great in real life.

So we can take it you are happy with your family, friends and work because relationships don’t seem to be on the radar at the moment.
I agree you need to love yourself and i found this can take years to feel that way and you don’t need the desire that you must have a partner in your life. That feeling does make you more confident in general. So it seems you feel that way and if you want sex and a laugh you go straight to places for this and disregarding all the usual crap that others go through to get their sex fun.
The circles you mix with and the fame of who you are must guarantee you sex whenever though, so you are luckier than us mere mortals…..

Yes, it’s true. It can take years to really love yourself. I don’t think I truly realised this until very recently. Well, I guess better late than never!

It has taken almost 7 years of being single on and off to find a circle of people with whom I can just have sex and fun. I don’t know if it is easier for me than most people. Most of my partners I met long before I started writing.

Is your ex hubby aware of your life and the way its moved on and if so what does he think of the mother of his kids now. How has he moved on in his life and what do your kids think now..
I accept you can tell me none of my business.

Sorry to say but I kind of agree with George, in many instances I felt that you are deep inside looking for a partner (not saying that you are not happy having fun with the situation you have), and sometimes usuing the sex thing to find and get him (well, I guess 99% of us women do, at least the clever ones, because sex is important for men…).
Obviously everyone is diffirent, but the fact that we are happy with friends, family and work is enough for not wanting a relathinship? I do not think so. What is enough is, being happy with friends, family, work, and not be unhappy because there is not someone special (yet).
Ian, utimately it’s very easy for a woman to have sex, even if she is not that attractive, some men go even to bars to find paid sex, let alone if it’s free.

Sorry Valerie, I’m missing your point. Of course I want a partner eventually. I never said I didn’t. I don’t think finding a partner is going to make me any happier, it will merely add a new dimension to my life. That’s the beauty of being happy in one’s own skin.

I don’t think I ‘use’ sex for anything other for what it is - fun, pleasurable, blah blah blah. Look, I was married to a guy who didn’t really care much for sex. I thought at the time that was fine. Years later I realised it wasn’t fine. So, of course, being a woman with a high sex drive I believe sex is very important to a relationship.

I think what alot of people fail to realise is that being that this is a sex blog, I usually write about sex. Years ago I wrote about being a mum and a celebrity publicist. I give you one side of my personality because that’s the deal here. I doubt anyone wants to read about my day to day life that comprises about 99% of my life. Sometimes I think people want to try and derive a deeper meaning from all this than actually exists. I’m a happily single woman, having fun and enjoying my life. Sex represents a very small but important part of it.

As a middle-aged woman I think it’s enough for me just to let other women know that it’s ok to feel sexual in one’s forties. That although we’re no longer youngsters we can still have a satisfying and fulfilling sex life. Certainly the amount of encouraging letters I’ve received from middle-aged men and women telling me how I’ve reawakened their sexual feelings makes me think I must be doing something right.

Ian: Everyone’s happy. Enough said.

Suzanne, I understand and it’s good that people know that age has nothing to do with the ability to having good sex, even if one doesn’t have a permanent partner.
Times has changed and sex is something that older be can and do enjoy.
Yes, sometimes we get confused, have read it for a while in many instances you have done some remarks about few guys having the potention to become a boyfriend (like Mr. Scotland), anyway, maybe better stick to the sex thing…it’s for sure more fun than reading about your ironing!

Thanks suzanne. Was just a thought.
Valerie, women too go to bars for sex and it would be easier for a women to find sex in that bar. Do you feel suzanne isn’t fulfilled as she says because she is single. If you are single you do have more freedom to act on a come on without feeling guilty of hurting others so maybe thats her choice..

*High Fives Suzanne on behalf of sexually repressed middle-aged women everywhere*

I suspect you were probably kicked out for penis discrimination…

Suzanne, why are you so emotionally unfulfilled and empty?! Why, why why?!

Too much laundry. Very funny, sweetie.

Obviously you need a big strong man to do that laundry for you full time ;P

You mean like a laundry slave?

Wouldn’t we all like are own slave too, female one of course for any duties we needed them for…….

I was once deleted from AdultFriendFinder; i was mainly annoyed because i often replied to emails and i did put out, now and then, whereas the usually complaint from that site is the total lack of response from women.

“I love big cocks” Your candor should be applauded! Here is what men are similarly really thinking about on dating sites. What’s wrong with a bit of blunt honesty?

Brian: That’s genius.
Bittersweet: Wow, I didn’t think it was possible for a woman to get deleted from AFF. I’m dying to know what you did.
Ian: I think you’ll find that alot of men have a slave. It’s called a wife.

You have to love yourself before you can love someone else and expect them to love you. Very wise words Suzanne. Were you serviced by your black stripper this morning?

No, at 8am I was sitting in a member’s bar in Soho pouring over a powerpoint presentation. The black stripper no longer lives in London so sadly all my building work is now being done by men that are fully clothed.

Oh…what a pity…are you still seeing him now and then?

Very few guys in my life every really disappear for good. We still hook up from time to time.

So this blog started talking about rejection, and now your’re saying very few guys disappear for good, but i’m thinking who is the one that you would like back if you could have them but they walked away, we all have been there and it feels like shit for a while.

Oh, there’s only one whom I’m not in touch with and wish we had remained friends. He knows who he is.

Actually, there were two, one of whom I hadn’t seen for more than a year and then today, almost on cue, he suddenly appeared again as if out of nowhere. We had a brilliant time together and now I feel very happy and content. He was the best surprise on this beautiful, sunny day.