Suzanne Portnoy

It sounds to me like prep for a possible night with you, he and the dyke.

Oooooo! Tricky…….. Why does this set alarm bells ringing all over the place??

Do you know, Chris. The thought did cross my mind that we should have just invited her over but I’m not big on the FFM thing.

Just Me: I doubt he even realises himself how much he involves this woman in every conversation.If he doesn’t recognise that he’s in love, than surely he’s kidding himself.

So then you’re presented the option: have some very nice hands inside your pussy in exchange for dealing with someone who is in love with a lesbian.

By the by, Suzanne, two threesomes on the way…one mmf and one ffm. I’ll provide details should they occur.

Suzanne, I read this through a couple of times as per usual but what jumped out at me was the apparent disconnect between your entirely natural reservations at being treated, shall we say, a tad insensitively as a woman on a date over the course of the evening…and then…fast forward to 4am and we’re on ‘Full Roger’ mode again…

…so I can’t help wondering if this was a “real” date would you have expressed your gratitude, then kissed, pecked or hugged and departed, er, ‘intacto’ into the night…or…dare I say it have you decided that once you’ve committed to these encounters that they have to be validated, no matter what ???

It was more of a gradual realisation than a light bulb moment. Often it’s not until I’ve had time to process an encounter in my head that I think, ‘Wow, that guy spent the whole night talking about someone else,’ or ‘Jeez,I don’t think that married guy’s marriage is quite so ‘open’ as he suggested’ or ‘I haven’t come twice now with this one. This isn’t working.’ It’s the fault of my writing that I haven’t expressed this clearly enough, making it perhaps seem that I was fully aware of what was going on, when I wasn’t.

In my experience lots of women take far longer to work this out than I do. I think I’m doing pretty well if I can have these insights so soon after I’ve been with someone! Being impulsive and liking sex and enjoying this man’s company I wanted to see out Friday night to its logical conclusion being that he was one of my ‘auditions’ for the lunchtime spot.

‘Dating’ Jake - What’s THAT?? Haven’t been on a real date in so long, remind me.

Will you be seeing him again, because if he had magic fingers and tongue and even fisted you then he had something going for him, that you must want to be repeated again and again. But he may not be back because it may need a lot of time to repeat getting to the fist bit and it is supposed to be a lunch time shagger. He does seem as someone to keep in your phone for when you want to feel that good again after a few drinks…..

Ian: Who knows. I enjoyed the part leading up to the fisting but it could have been more because it was fueled by alcohol than anything genuine. The next morning just wasn’t happening as opposed to this morning when I woke up with a long term lover after a 4-some the night before that was far more intimate than anything I have experienced over the past few weeks with the newbies. There’s something to be said for being with a group of guys I like, who don’t need alcohol to fuel their desire, who appreciate and enjoy giving and receiving pleasure, who tell me how much they like to be with me. It’s very simple really but it seems that only the long-term swingers get it.

I would hazard a guess that my Friday night date wasn’t used to sober sex and although drunken sex is fun, it’s just drunken sex. I’m not interested in getting plastered over lunchtime and I’m not entirely sure that Mr. Friday night would have fisted me sober.

Dating’ Jake - What’s THAT?? Haven’t been on a real date in so long, remind me…

As if I would know myself anymore…I often get round to wondering if this kind of freewheeling sexual lifestyle is inimical to developing proper relationships…one of the characteristics of swinging is that a lot of the uncertainty or whatever that goes with ‘proper dating’ are dispensed with as everybody understands what the eventual outcome will be…ie, a few drinks or whatever and it’s ‘off to the races’ we go…so after getting used to this it can be difficult or even a chore to go back to the old courting routine, perhaps ???

“after a 4-some the night before…”

Mmmmm Suzanne, looks like another steamy blog entry is on the way…

I do know people that have formed relationships out of swinging partners but it’s unusual. As you said, the very nature of the lifestyle dispenses with the courtship that I think is vital if you want something with emotional committment attached.
This weekend was unusual in that I had a drunken encounter with a guy who’s head was somewhere other than with me. A 4-some with three guys who were all emotionally and physically fully present and all sober. Then last night I ran into a man I have known platonically for the past year but like and could possibly even see myself with one of these days. He said as much to me last night too but it’s one of those relationships that is going to be on slow burn for a long time. I think the essence of all these relationships is that they are meant to be what they are meant to be.

The whole “drunk sex” thing can be pretty soul destroying, I think it comes down to being able to be in the moment, with the person you’re with. There’s nothing wrong with a glass of wine, but I like the morning sex far more…

As for fisting - good work! I’ve often tried, only ever succeeded once.

One of the downsides of living in the UK is that sex and drink go together much like tea and milk here. It’s pretty rare to find a British man that doesn’t want a few drinks before he has sex for the first time even if it means that his cock might be more floppy than firm. It’s also quite common for men that like a few drinks to prefer oral to fucking. It saves having to explain why their dick is a bit floppy even though it’s perfectly clear to me that if you drink a bottle of wine before you go to bed with someone, you’re not going to be at your peak performance level.

It’s hardly surprising to me that most of my swinging partners don’t drink and that generally people that are really into sex aren’t into alcohol.

Bob, like you, I prefer morning sex mainly because I’m a morning person. It’s a real drag waking up next to someone who has ravaged me the night before, only to find they have lost the ability to make any sort of connection.

Well, it’s different for us men, of course - many women appear more open and uninhibited when they’ve had a drink or two, and obviously there’s no need to worry about getting an erection. However, waking up next to someone who goes back to being inhibted and embarrassed the moment they realize what happened is not much fun.

I’m actually not a morning person at all - but that’s part of the fun. Getting that sense of arousal, even though I’m still kinda sleepy is a great way to start the day, and I like the sense of intimacy you get….

I’m not British either. Many of my partners these days are women who drink only very moderately - and I prefer it that way!

The first time with Ruf he was stone cold sober and I had to have several glasses of dutch courage so I was three sheets to the wind. Since then we have very rarely fucked after alcohol. We just dont seem to need it to feel comfortable or uninhibited and, like you say, morning sex is one of the most intense intimacies

Sounds like this guy is very confused.

Cake: Just call me Suzi Therapist. You’ll laugh but I was the first woman this guy had ever met off the internet! The past few weeks have thrown up quite a few internet newbies. Must be the style of my ad that appeals to guys that may not have chanced meeting a woman off the web before. Perhaps next time I place one I need to stipulate ‘no internet dating virgins, no casual sex first timers’ in addition to my no married, no hooked up guys. I like seasoned professionals. Guys that have lost count of the number of women they have shagged are the best.

Suzanne, would women who have lost count of the number of men they have shagged be the best too. I wish i could be called a seasoned professional but i can recall the number of women i have slept with, but is that a bad thing. If i was asked to name them, that’s not going to happen

If you change the wording of your ad, would you not miss the fun of the last few weeks and you may not get many replies because they night be previous partners with much experience , that you preferred.

Alcohol before sex is fine, in moderation, but if she throws up as she sucks your cock, then that’s a bit too much to drink…

Ian: Funnily enough, it doesn’t work the same way for women although I wish it would. Sure, there are a few brave souls who enjoy the challenge of shagging an experienced woman but, for the most part, most men would probably prefer to be with a woman who has only slept with a handful of men (preferably just a couple of fingers actually). Personally, I think expertise comes with experience or, as the old adage goes, practise makes perfect.
No more ads until the New Year. I’m far too busy.

Suzanne, When i was a teenager, i never wanted a girlfriend who wasn’t experienced, i only was interested in the girls that knew what they were doing, and i’m still the same, the girl i’m with now has slept with a number of men and her count is into double figures also, but i’m not going to say more than that about her. I agree with you about having plenty of practise previously by a women being so much more enjoyable when you get down to it.
We call ladies slappers or slags or other deviant sounding names, but i have never felt that girls who got those names attached to them were ever the ones to stay away from or to treat differently because i wanted there experience in my bed.

hi suzanne, i have a question totally unlreated to the post, do you know any places in new york which are like rios?

i am here for about a week and would like to check it out..

There’s the Wall Street Baths but there’s no sex. It’s a fun place to chill out though. There was another place I used to go to called the Russian Baths (I think) down around one of the Alphabet streets. Again, no sex. There’s no other place on earth like Rios as far as I know.