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2009
Spring is in the Air
I may still be wearing a woolly scarf around my neck and gloves but Spring is definately in the air and with Spring comes love or at least lust. Never in all my years of being single have I known so many penises to spontaneously rise as they have this year.
An unprecendented three out of six Wackos contacted me within 8 hours of the clocks moving forward. Wackos are the men listed in my mobile only as Wacko 1, 2, 3 and all the way up to 6. They have all, in one way or another, pissed me off. Rather than delete their numbers, I simply add them to the list of Wackos. Aside from the most recent Wacko, Wacko 6, I don’t even remember their names.
Wacko 6 was the first to contact me. He was a guy who had let me down on no less than three separate occasions, the last time being when I’d arranged a threesome with a bi guy just so he could get fucked up the ass. I’d given him the benefit of the doubt one too many times. Three strikes, you’re out mate. On Saturday morning I heard from him again. He was horny, wanted some phone sex, was I interested? I pressed ‘delete message.’
Wacko No. 3 contacted me by email. He was a guy I’d met on a couple of occasions, the last time when he dumped me at a crap Fever party almost as soon as we were inside the door. I left after an hour and he stayed until 4am. He called me the next day to tell me what a great time he had had and to thank me for taking him. I thought it was bad etiquette to leave me alone at a swinging party. True to form, he contacted me on Saturday evening to remind me of his existence and to asked whether I wanted to accompany him to a club. I ignored his email.
Wacko No. 4 was a guy who suggested that I had given him an STD even though we did not have penetrative sex. After a hasty trip to the clinic during which I was given the all clear, I deleted him from my phone. He contacted me on Sunday morning just to say ‘hi.’
It’s not all doom and gloom though. In amongst the wackos, there have been some real gems. In fact, I’m having such a nice, chilled time at the moment I’m loathe to break the spell by writing about them. Let’s just say, I’m enjoying the attention. Spring is definitely in the air and it’s about f***ing time.
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2009
Just Another Friday Night
‘Oh, monsieur, with all this cock you shall be spoiling me.’
I was sitting on a padded kitchen stool, my leopard print suede blindfold covering my eyes. I reached out in front of me and felt one, then two, then three very hard and big cocks.
‘That’s right,’ said Greg. ‘Take it all in. Then lick the shaft. Right down. Good.’
I felt his cock get harder and thicker in my mouth. I reached out while sucking and felt a hand guide my hand to another hard cock. About 9″ or 10″ long and thick, I moved my hand up and down the shaft. Greg’s hand pulled my head into him. I gagged.
‘Good girl,’ he said.
I pulled my mouth off his cock and moved on to the one in my right hand. Hard, with a slightly curved tip, he slid easily down my throat.
‘Stand up and turn around,’ said Greg after 5 minutes had passed. I stood up unsteadily, unsure which way to turn. I was wearing a green leopard print bra with matching suspenders that had arrived a couple of weeks earlier from Agent Provocateur. A black, tight waspie was around my waist. Seamed fishnet stockings and my 6″ high fuck me shoes completed the ensemble. It was a good look and I felt sexy.
I felt Greg’s hand turn me around and I bent over, reaching my hand out for support. I heard a condom packet being ripped open. Greg’s cock was in my mouth. Minutes later I felt a long cock in my pussy, fucking me hard. Greg’s cock was now deep in my throat. It felt so good being spit roasted, especially by a big, long cock. It felt even better to get my mojo back too, after being ill and feeling deeply unsexy.
Next I was sitting on the chair, leaning into Greg while another cock pushed hard into me from above, slamming me so deep that I momentarily imagined falling backwards. The stool legs rocked unsteadily. My head was swimming in endorphins. I was wet, so wet, gushing now, the liquid swimming inside me as the hard cock pushed deeper and deeper into me. Fuck, it was horny. I sat up and pulled off my blindfold and had a look around.
There was a young black guy, very slim, bald. He was the one with the biggest cock. ‘I’m kind of famous,’ he said later on, while we were all playing around in the hot tub.
‘Oh, why’s that then?’
‘I’m in the Big Penis Book and posed for an American magazine called Inches,’ he said.
‘Wow,’ I said, while I was stroking his cock. ‘I’ve seen that book. You do have a big penis.’
The other guy reached across to stroke it. White, average build and handsome with a bald head and a big, thick 8″ cock, he said his name was Dave and occasionally made and starred in amateur porn movies.
I pulled the biggest cock in my mouth while Dave carressed his balls and guided the shaft into my mouth. Fuck, that was a turn on. I love watching guys get off with each other. Then it was Dave’s turn. He sat on the edge of the tub while I sucked him off. Greg’s fingers felt for me under the water and I could feel my clit being tickled as Dave’s cock grew harder in my mouth.
After an hour or more in the tub and all turning into prunes, it was time for the bedroom. It was a sea of cocks - in my mouth, my pussy, my ass. One guy fucked another while fucking me. It was so deep, so hard. I thought his balls might end up in me.
‘That’s too intense,’ I said, pulling out. But the DP was divine. Greg’s ass pushed into me while Mr. Super Penis fucked me from above. I felt the two cocks rubbing back and forth against each other inside of me. Dave’s cock was above my head. I flicked his balls with my tongue before pulling the big, thick head of his cock into my mouth. Fucking and sucking and watching the guys with each other, hands stroking cocks, mouths and tongues twisted around hard nipples, taut male bodies handling each other so gently while fucking me.
We ended the night in front of my big, widescreen TV, watching porn while carrying on, the sound of breathing and screaming providing the perfect backdrop. The boys came one after another. Greg in my ass. Dave shooting his spunk over and over again all over my body while Mr. Big Cock helped to jerk him off and then, finally, Mr. Big Cock himself. He took ages to come before eventually wanking all over me. As for me, I’d come so many times I’d lost count. It was the perfect Friday night.
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2009
Gang Bang Gone Bad
One of my favourite fantasies goes something like this. I’m in my favourite sauna club surrounded by guys. I look around and realise that I’m the only woman there and that, for once, the men are generally all decent looking and well hung. None of them are over 50, none of them are under 30, they are all well proportioned. Unlike reality, there are no beer bellies, no cocks so small that they are practically invisible behind a forest of black pubic hair, nobody so white that their skin is practically transparent. Noone smells of tobacco. This is my fantasy, after all. I sit around in the jacuzzi for a half hour or more eyeing everyone up and then I move to one of the private rooms. I know that the likelihood is I’ll be followed by one or more of the men there.
I enter the room, lay down my towel and pull out my vibrator, leaving the door to the room slightly ajar.
As expected, within minutes I have company. Then more men join me until it’s a fantastic gang bang. I’m getting penetrated and licked by so many cocks and tongues I can’t distinguish one from another. The guys all take turns with me. There is double penetration. One man licks my pussy in just the way I like. I have a thunderous orgasm. It’s fantastic fun. That’s why it’s a fantasy.
So there I am today, in my favourite place, trying desperately to get warm. It was not easy. The door to the steam room kept opening and shutting. The jacuzzi was rather chilly. The sauna was not as warm as it could have been and the hallways were freezing. I knew it was going to take a while for what heat I could find to get deep into my bones. I don’t warm up easily. When I’m really, really cold it takes me an hour in the steam room, sometimes longer, just to sweat. But I was not in a rush. The place was extremely quiet and I was enjoying the time to myself. I had all day to warm up.
After three hours, the place started to fill up. A couple came in wearing their swimming costumes and started fondling each other in the pool. A guy in the jacuzzi started wanking and a very attractive Italian man with foppish brown hair and olive skin took his place in the jacuzzi next to me. Before long, I felt his hand travelling up my leg and feeling suddenly frisky, I let him continue, until his fingers were flicking my clit. I kept my eyes shut and let him continue, not wanting to make contact with the people opposite me - the wanking man and a blonde woman about my age sitting next to him. The jet stream under my bum was hitting my pussy temporarily confusing me as to whether my new neighbour really was flicking my clit or merely stroking my leg. After a couple of minutes, it became clear that it was his fingers doing all the work and I opened my eyes, laughed and said, ‘Don’t you just love this place?’
He said something I couldn’t really understand and carried on. Five minutes later he got out and said, ‘Catch you around.’
‘Sure,’ I said and smiled.
Immediately three big, burly guys took his place. Big, rugby playing type guys, in their late twenties and down in London for some fun on the town. They had been up all night drinking and came to the sauna place to chill out and possibly have fun. One guy, the biggest and best looking of the lot and with a big, fat cock came and sat down next to me. ‘You ever seen a cock this big?’ he said, noticing me starring.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I’ve seen lots of cocks that big and some even bigger. But it’s a nice cock.’
‘Today is obviously big cock day,’ I said. There seemed to be an extraordinary number there for a Saturday afternoon. Mostly the sauna place is representative of the world in general but today, for some reason, there were some very big cocks on display. I thought about my fantasy. I thought about the guys sitting in the jacuzzi with me and the Italian guy and the older man on the opposite side of me who had been stroking my back and another man who had been talking to me about OurPlace4Fun, a swinging club I knew well.
‘Do you come here often,’ said Mr. Big Cock.
‘Often enough,’ I said. ‘It’s local. I don’t make plans to come here. I just do.’
‘I’d be coming here a lot more often if I knew you were here,’ he said.
I laughed and got up to go to the steam room. ‘Maybe we’ll have some fun later,’ I said before I left.
‘I hope so,’ he said.
Thirty minutes later, myself and four guys were in the private rooms. Facing the wall of cocks I started to suck each one. Some were hard. Some not so hard. Some didn’t stay hard for long. Condoms went on and came off filled with spunk. My pussy did not get licked as much as I would have liked and the fucking was amateur, not varied enough for my liking. The guys talked throughout until I had to tell them to shut up. One would come and then leave the room, leaving me with fewer and fewer men until there were only two left, both hopelessly inadequate. I sucked, I fucked, I tried everything to get them to come. The cocks got hard, then soft, then semi-hard. After fifteen minutes of effort and knowing that my orgasm wasn’t even in the frame, I asked them both to leave. I took a shower, alone, and then quietly made my way to the private room at the far end of the hall where I knew I would not be disturbed.
I pulled out my faithful vibrator, the Fun Factory Layaspot and quietly gave myself an orgasm, thinking not about the gang bang but about Tom and Greg and Sam and Geoff and Steve - my favourite fun boys. It was a very satisfying conclusion to a very unsatisfying gang bang. Some fantasies are definitely best left unexplored.
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2008
Another Evening Without an ASBO
I have a very hot, very tolerant neighbour. Five foot two or thereabouts with brown, shoulder length hair, big brown eyes and the firmest, cutest body I think my teenage son has ever seen, I know I am very lucky to have her. Not only does she put up with my garden antics which I’m sure she has witnessed from time to time (two of her windows overlook my garden) but she does so with a sense of humour. Over the past month we’ve become a little closer due to the fact that I had no hot water and she has a very nice shower. I’m not certain but fairly confident that the single woman who occupied the house before her moved out when she could no longer bear to look out her windows for fear of what she might encounter. She stopped talking to me shortly after I’d had a sex party in my garden. Well, none of the other neighbours seemed to mind.
Two weeks ago, after having a shower my HN (Hot Neighbour) said to me, ‘Did you read in the papers the other day about the woman who got an ASBO (Anti Social Behaviour Order) for parading around naked in her garden?’
‘No,’ I said. ‘I must have missed that story.’
‘You better be careful,’ she said laughing. ‘If you ever piss me off, you might be getting one of those.’
‘I’ll bear that in mind,’ I said, also laughing.
With that thought in my head, I stepped naked into my garden last night, followed by my two favourite fun guys, Greg and Steve. The rain had only recently stopped and the sandstone tiles were glistening. As I stepped in the tub, I turned around to look at the surrounding houses. Two rooms had their lights on next door but I couldn’t see anyone in the rooms. The house on the other side of mine had three lights on but again, I couldn’t see anyone moving around in them. Then there was the house behind mine. That one looked all dark. I sank down in the 39 degree water, Steve and Greg by my side.
‘Oh, I’d forgotten how great this is,’ said Steve. ‘What a way to spend a Saturday night.’
‘Yes, it’s not bad, is it?’ I said whilst stradding Greg’s thick cock and grabbing onto the side of the tub. I love it for the way I can get into all sorts of acrobatic positions that I’d never be able to accomplish out of the water. The water was washing away my fluids as fast as I was producing them but once the big head of his cock slid through the entrance, he went in easily. We kissed and for a moment, it felt like it was just the two of us. We have a special kind of intimacy. Not the intimacy of two people who love each other but the intimacy of two people who have known each other a long time.
Advice for Boys and Girls: If you want to keep the lust alive in your relationship (fuck buddy or otherwise), see your partner every six weeks. After four years, we’ve not had one bad night and it just keeps getting better.
I could feel his thick cock swell inside me as I slowly rode the shaft, gripping the head with my pussy as it neared the top. The air was the perfect temperature, just slightly cool so that each time I lifted my body I felt a slight chill and then the warmth again as I entered the water and ground down on his cock.
Reaching behind me, I took my left hand and reached for Steve’s cock. Nine inches and already fully erect, I slowly started milking him, not with any goal in mind but just enjoying the water and the feeling of having two cocks to play with. I’d been with the guys for almost a year now and we had developed a rhythm, building up the excitement and then taking it down again. I knew it would be at least two hours before anyone orgasmed. Then Steve moved around, sitting on the edge of the tub and placing his cock in my mouth, I sucked and licked him, working the head and then moving down the shaft until he was deep in my throat. Greg was still inside me, fucking me so slowly it was almost unnoticeable but still, with Steve’s cock in my mouth, we were now moving into ASBO territory.
I looked around. Still no movement in any of the rooms facing the tub.
Then I lifted off Greg’s cock, turned around and stood in the tub, my ass now facing Greg. He knew that was the signal to enter me from behind and he was in so quickly, Steve laughed. ‘You didn’t waste any time there, did you? he said while moving around the tub so that his cock was directly in front of me. I grabbed it with my mouth and soon he was so hard I thought he might lose it right there and then. ‘Oh, fuck,’ he said and I could feel the veins start to throb. Then he pulled back. He was the master of self-control. Greg could last for hours but once he got in my ass, I knew where it was going whereas Steve could seemingly fuck all day and night and never come.
After forty minutes or so we retreated back to the house and moved into the bedroom, where we stayed until we passed out on my bed, fully satiated and totally exhausted. Another evening had passed and I’d avoided getting an ASBO. It was a good night.
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Latest Release
Middle-aged single mother and entertainment publicist Suzanne Portnoy leads a double life. Monday to Friday, she’s a professional executive devoted to her two adolescent boys. But at weekends she spends her kid-free hours having sex, with a different man each time. Or multiple men. More »
Buy my books
Good Reads
The Alchemy of Desire
Shameless (Black Lace)
She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
Bailey’s Democracy
Outliers

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