13 Dec
2008

More Promotion

One of the outcomes of being a popular sex blogger and writer is that PR people have begun to market sex toys and sex related products to me. Being a PR person myself, I am torn between wanting to help their client and score them brownie points or simply accept the gift and do nothing. I view this blog as my secret space and even though I am fully aware that people read it and that I post pictures to attract attention, I think of it as my diary and notebook. It’s the place where I record my thoughts and the events in my life. From time to time I like to read back on something that happened a year or two ago. Occasionally I cringe at some of my past behaviour. Other times it makes me horny and sometimes I just feel sad. It’s really not a place where I want to advertise stuff or promote other company’s products, unless it happens to directly relate to an incident in my life and it makes sense.

Nevertheless, ever since I was given the really terrific Lelo Gigi by Jo Divine, I have had two or three companies approach me about reviewing their products and in truth I’ve used my name to get stuff for free too (look out for a review of male masturbation devices). Maybe I should charge for the service or maybe I should stick to the two drawers of products I have and leave it at that. As my youngest son said to me the other day when he opened up one of the drawers trying to find some AA batteries, ‘How many sex toys do you need? What do you do with all this stuff?’

‘People give me them,’ I said. ‘It’s not my choice. Did you find the batteries?’

This leads me onto my latest gift, Durex Play O gel. In truth, I’m not a big fan of putting chemicals on my clit. I use water based lube from time to time and that’s about it. The idea of a gel that helps me to have an orgasm is not all that appealing to me. I have orgasms. I learned a few years ago that I’ll come when my body wants me to come. It can take me 5 minutes or 50 minutes. It really doesn’t matter to me. A tantric teacher called Jahnet de Light once told me I was an orgasm chaser and encouraged me to just let it happen naturally without having to try so hard. Sure enough, once I learned to stop thinking and start tuning in to the other person’s rhythm, I came. Of course, I have had many lovers that just want to come and don’t really care much about whether I do or not and usually they come first and I don’t come at all. It doesn’t mean it hasn’t been fun but I haven’t had an orgasm either. Most of those selfish guys aren’t around anymore. So what I’m saying is that the Play O gel isn’t really something I would buy. It’s not aimed at me - a woman of experience who is happy with how and when I orgasm.

At the same time I know that many women are concerned about their orgasms. There is a common figure bandied around that 60% of all women can’t orgasm from penetrative sex. I have friends who have never had orgasms and friends who find it difficult to come. So, in the name of research, I decided to give the Play O gel a go. It was last Tuesday morning and I was expecting Sam, my breakfast guy, to come around and fuck me hard. We hadn’t seen each other since the summer and I was looking forward to his big, beautiful, black cock in my pussy as he fucked me over a chair. We never have more than 45 minutes together and I thought the gel might come in handy.

It was 7.55am and Sam was expected at 8am. I applied the gel to my clit and very quickly it went cold. This freaked me out. I’m not used to a cold clit. It felt as if someone had brushed their teeth with a mentholated toothpaste and then licked my clit. It was not the most unpleasant sensation but it was not great either and I worried about what kind of chemicals I was applying to the most delicate part of my body. I turned on my pocket rocket vibrator and applied it to my clit. By now it was 7.58 and I knew Sam might turn up any minute. Then the phone bleeped and it was a message from Sam. He was stuck in traffic and was going to be late, very late. I texted him, ‘I can wait. I’ll be very wet when you arrive.’

I went back to work on my clit and I felt like I had to come. But I didn’t want to come. Not yet. Not in five minutes so I put down the vibrator and waited a bit and then started on my clit again and again I felt like I had to come. Now I suppose if you have a hard time having orgasms then having a 5 minute orgasm is great but I didn’t want to come. For the next ten minutes I played a silly game with my vibrator where I put it on my clit, felt like coming, put it down again, rested and started all over. Eventually the gel wore off and Sam arrived, fucking me with his long, hard cock over a chair, while I was seated in the chair and in bed, before finally shooting his spunk all over my back. I had come earlier, naturally, while he was pumping me hard from behind and I had my vibe on my clit. It was horny for both of us.

Well, there you go. Is this a review? Will Durex be happy with this one? I don’t know. If you are a woman that finds it hard to come, the Play O gel could help you to achieve an orgasm. That is, of course, if you can get over the frozen clit part. As for me, I’ll be sticking to what I know. Thanks to the lovely Katie Griffiths, Senior Account Executive at McCanns for giving me the gel. Now you have something to put in your PR report.

24 Oct
2008

Breakfast in Bed

The screen popped up on messenger.

‘Wanna fuck?’ he wrote. ‘Doctor Donny’ never was one for subtlety.

‘When?’

‘This morning,’ he wrote back.

‘What time?’

‘10am.’

‘Too late,’ I wrote back. ‘I have to leave for work. Besides it would have to be a threesome.’

‘Why?’

‘My swinging partner is here putting up a wall. I can’t leave him out.’

At 9am the doorbell rang. Wearing my leopard print high heels, hold ups and a see through babydoll I shouted from the stairs,’Travis Perkins?’ I was expecting the arrival of some plasterboard as well as Greg and Donny.

‘Yes,’ came the reply back from the other side of the door.

‘Hold on,’ I shouted and ran into my bedroom, kicking off my heels and grabbing a long, cotton kimino and wrapping it around myself before running back to open the door.

There stood Doctor Donny, just as I remembered him. Tall, dark hair, vaguely Mediterrean looking, unshaven and chewing gum.

‘I thought you were Travis Perkins,’ I laughed and flung off my robe. ‘I took off my high heels. Now you’ve spoiled the effect.’

‘You’re just as mad as ever,’ he said and kissed me.

‘C’mon,’ I said. ‘Let’s get started. Greg can join in when he gets here.’

We walked back upstairs to the bedroom where I replaced my high heels on my feet. Running into the bedroom for a quick swish of mouthwash to get rid of the taste of the coffee I’d just drunk, I bent over the bathroom sink. Donny’s hand was between my legs in seconds.

‘You’re already wet,’ he said. ‘That’s really hot.’

Within minutes I was even wetter as Donny’s hand fingered my pussy. Soon we were on the bed where his thick cock was pushing into me. I’d forgotten how thick he was. Despite being wet, he struggled to enter me.

‘I’ve missed this pussy,’ he said as he fucked me.

‘It has been a year,’ I said. ‘I haven’t been going anywhere. You could have come around any time.’

I heard the key turn in the latch.

‘We’re upstairs,’ I yelled to Greg.’Come join us.’ I had already sent him a text to let him know about Donny.

‘I have to park the car,’ he said. ‘Around the corner. Back in a few minutes.’

‘Fuck I’m going to come,’ said Donny. He whipped off the condom and shot his spunk all over my pretty nightie and on my chest, rubbing it into my body with his hand. By the time Greg came back into the house, he was hard again.

Ten minutes later Greg’s cock was getting hard in my mouth while Donny was pounding me from behind, still chewing gum.

‘Can you please take the gum out of your mouth?’ I said when I couldn’t stand the chomping noise any longer. It was distracting and putting me off my rhythm.

‘No,’ he said. ‘I like it. Keep it there all day.’ There is always a moment when I realise why a guy is fuck buddy and not boyfriend material. This was the moment.

Then we reversed positions, with Greg’s cock pushing into me so hard, I felt my pussy throbbing. I gagged on Donny’s cock.

After that, it was the inevitable double penetration. Well, I wasn’t not going to have DP. After all, I was with two guys with fantastically beautiful cocks. DP was always going to be on the cards. It was a special treat seeing Donny after so long… gum or no gum.

‘Lay down,’ I commanded Donny. I straddled his cock and then let Greg ease himself into my ass. It took awhile but eventually we got there. Bloody hell, they filled me up. I kissed Donny, gum still in his mouth.

Five minutes later I could hear Greg’s breathing change, feel his cock stiffen and knew his orgasm was impending. He has the most amazing orgasms. They go on for ever and he makes a sound that is so primal and so deep in his chest and so, well, manly. He doesn’t hold back and I like that about him.

‘Mmmm,’ I said. ‘That was nice and now I have to go to work. Thank God Travis Perkins was late!’

I grabbed my clothes and threw on a skirt and a blouse, the smell of the guys’ sweat still lingering on my body.

1 May
2008

A Damn Good Fuck

‘I want you to sit in your armchair, blindfolded and get yourself nice and wet ready for my arrival.’

I could hear the clock tower down the street strike 9am. That was the signal that soon I would hear the opening of the front door, his footsteps up the stairs, clothes dropping to the floor and, finally, my bedroom door opening.

For over a year now we’ve had the same monthly ritual. It works perfectly so why change it?

I sat in the armchair, wearing only a black and white lace suspender belt, a pair of navy blue sheer stockings, black platform boots with 5″ heels, black lace bra and a fuschia and black blindfold. My vibrator in my hand, I rolled it around my clit, my breath quickening as I heard his familiar footsteps. I was so close to coming, I was worried I might before he even touched me.

Then the door opened and I could hear him approaching. Soon, he pulled my face towards his cock. Soon it went hard. ‘Oh fuck,’ I heard him say. My mouth filled with saliva as he grabbed the back of my head, forcing his 9″ down my throat. I gagged. He felt so good. I had forgotten how fucking horny he always made me feel.

His hand reached between my legs. I was already dripping wet.

Then he pulled my legs quickly, repositioned himself so he was between my legs and thrust himself into me. I gasped, temporarily forgetting about the vibe and concentrating on the rhythmic movement of his cock sliding in and out of me.

‘Oh fuck,’ I said. ‘That feels so good. It has been too long. I forgot how good you feel inside me.’

‘Turn around,’ he said. I stood up, temporarily disorientated. He grabbed my waist and pulled me into him, guiding his cock to the tip of my pussy. I guided the vibe to my clit, feeling so close to coming but not wanting to come. He had only just arrived.

‘That’s good,’ he said.

We fucked for another 20 minutes or so, me coming on top grinding down on his cock. Then, like every other time, he jerked off, my index finger pressing down on his perineum while my mouth sucked on his balls. His spunk covered my face.

‘Good morning,’ he said and we both laughed.

‘Good morning.’

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The Not So Invisible Woman

Middle-aged single mother and entertainment publicist Suzanne Portnoy leads a double life. Monday to Friday, she’s a professional executive devoted to her two adolescent boys. But at weekends she spends her kid-free hours having sex, with a different man each time. Or multiple men. More »

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