Suzanne Portnoy

Welcome to my brand new and very pink website. It’s amazing what a difference it makes hiring a couple of American chicks who know what they’re doing. My last website was nothing but aggro but this time it has been smooth sailing. So, if you’re in the market for a blog with attitude, I hope you’ll look up the Moxie girls.

Now that we’re in December, I’m starting to think about my resolutions for 2008. I’ve always been goal orientated and my personal life is no exception. There’s no point in waiting for things to happen. I’ve decided that for 2008 I need a bit more romance in my life. I love the quickies I have with my regular playmates.  They’re hot and horny but I’m beginning to miss the simple things like having a dinner cooked for me, walks in the park, a sleep over that doesn’t start at 4am and end at 6am.

My friend T, a guy that I really like a lot even if I don’t see him very often, said ‘Stop lurching from one alterego to another. Slow down.’ I guess that’s a pretty good description of how I feel sometimes. Having to squeeze all my fun into my kids’ free weekends isn’t the worst thing in the world but it can be exhausting.  Resolution No. 2 for 2008:  Take it easy.

Take last night. I had a 3-some booked with a couple of guys that I call ‘My tag team.’ But the night before I’d only slept for a few hours after I woken up with a brainwave. I’d gone back on the PC to write it all out at 2am and finished at 4.30. By 3pm yesterday I was feeling shattered so I called off the orgy and instead decided to go to dinner with one of the guys that had responded to the ad I’d placed a couple of weeks ago.

I turned up at London Bridge Station and rang my date to find out the name of the restaurant but his phone was switched off. Twenty minutes later I was still standing outside the station and starting to feel that perhaps I’d made a big mistake and should turn around, go home and have an early night. He finally turned up 25 minutes after our original meeting time and we went to a lovely, intimate French restaurant. The food was delicious. The glass of red went down so well that I almost wished I’d ordered another and my date was a sweet, but very jittery former academic.

Jittery wasn’t what I was after. What I was after was relaxed and calm. I found myself thinking about other friends like T, for instance, with whom I can sit and talk for hours. Or M that just really makes me laugh. I was at the right restaurant but with the wrong guy. 

When I walked in through the door just after midnight my house felt cold and empty.  Crawling into bed, alone, I wished I was lying next to P, who is the only man in my life with whom I do the overnight thing.  We haven’t seen each other for a while and although that works for both of us, it would have been nice to have him with me, keeping me warm.

I’m beginning to realise that most of the men I like aren’t English or have spent many years living abroad. I’ve never thought of myself as a foreigner even though I am but yet recently I’m drawn to ex-pats like myself. Last weekend I met an American guy for a coffee and although our date was brief, I still find myself looking forward to January when he gets back from his family holiday.

Now I’m off to see my trainer for another gruelling workout before heading off to Brighton to spend time with some friends. Looks like this is going to be one sex-free, kids’ free weekend. Makes a change, eh?