Suzanne Portnoy

Keeping female friends hasn’t always been easy for me. Women can be more judgmental than men. I have no scientific explanation as to why this should be but it just seems to be true. Over the years I’ve been paraded out at parties as if I’m a prize show pony with the sole requirement to entertain the guests. The following day I’ve been dumped by the hostess for entertaining them a bit too much. I’ve had women tell me that I have a secret desire to be monogamous when it’s completely obvious that I don’t. I’ve had my lifestyle analysed by middle-class media chicks keen to burst my bubble wondering how I could possibly be happy without a husband.

I’ve always found men to be quite straightforward. If they want to see you, they call you. If they like you, they stick around. Sure, sometimes I despair of some of the cruder aspects of their behaviour. I’m not big on farting or belching, getting rat assed and making a clumsy pass, emails that say ‘meet up’ as if we no longer speak in full sentences, not showering. But generally, I know where I stand with guys. There’s a reason I have a phone book full of men. They’re less taxing on my brain.

Recently though, I’ve experienced a turn-around. Partly it’s as a result of blogging, partly just coincidence but I seem to have acquired some really fabulous female friends. Women like myself, in their 40’s, who are perfectly happy to just let me be. Just yesterday I spent the afternoon with a woman who felt like my long lost best friend. As we compared notes on our dating experiences, we discovered that we had more than one man in common. It was a little spooky realising that we had been living parallel lives. We swapped stories for two hours. I hadn’t laughed so hard in months. It all feels like a long time coming.