Suzanne Portnoy

One of the challenges of being a long-term single person is being with someone.  Although I live with two kids, I actually haven’t spent a considerable period of time with a man for a couple of years.  Many women operate a rotating boyfriend policy, whereby they swap one man for another, never allowing themselves the pleasure of knowing what it means to be truly alone and single.  I have enjoyed the pleasure of many men but usually they’re in and out the door in a few hours.  I don’t always like sleeping alone but I prefer it to being with a guy who snores, farts, simply takes up too much space or bores me.  I’ve grown used to doing what I want when I want.

This weekend I met up with Daniel Natty Dresser.  We had organised to hook up for the weekend and I found myself feeling both excited and nervous about seeing him again.  Could I cope with 36 hours of being with someone?  Would I want him to piss off after 3 or 4 hours together and, if so, how would I broach the subject?  I needn’t have worried.

Sure, every once in a while some part of my brain would have a mini freak out wondering why he was still around.  I could hear it say on Saturday evening, “Shouldn’t he be going home by now?  Are you really going to spend tomorrow with this guy as well?!  You’ve had sex, done some shopping, had a couple of meals out.  Enough already.”

At such moments, I found the best remedy was cunnilingus.  “Um, Daniel,” I said in bed on Saturday evening, “Would you mind just licking my clit.”  That shut my brain up fast enough.  By Sunday afternoon, my brain was completely fried,  tabula rasa stylely.  A lot of cunninlingus has that effect on me.  I was no longer thinking about being alone but about how comfortable it felt to be with someone who wanted to be with me.

By the time we parted late Sunday afternoon, I think we had both had our fill of each other.  I walked down Brick Lane, smiling and sighing.